From a distance, everything is fine between you two? Beautiful alchemy in stories and ear-to-ear smiles in selfies?
But deep down inside, you think your girlfriend is addicted to social networks… Samsung, Apple or Huawei always in hand, she connects stories about your personal life, to do like her friends.
Is your darling a desperate case, is she addicted to Instagram, Snapchat and other networks?
A recent survey indicates the time spent by young people aged 16 to 24 has doubled in one year, now reaching almost 4 hours.
A small test is in order: if she spends more than 4 to 5 hours a day on her phone, when it is not her job, there is indeed a risk that your girlfriend is dependent on social networks.
Before meeting her tonight to explain to her that you are tired of being with a stories junkie, take the test to see if she is really addicted to her smartphone.
The 5 points of smartphone and social media addiction
#1 She thinks you’ve seen her day Instagram shouldn’t replace conversation, no matter how trivial.
If when you come home from work you say to her, “Hi, honey, how was your day? »
And she replies, “Well, you would know if you watched my stories”, then there really is a problem. She has a problem.
She no longer lives in the world of the living, you have lost her.
It’s not healthy for any relationship, and no one should have to be staring at their phone to follow their girlfriend’s adventures.
Especially since studies prove that passive consumption of social networks does not make you happy.
✅ Read Also : Why Social Media Makes People Unhappy
Bring her down to earth, explain to her that you have better things to do in the day than wasting your time on Instagram.
That should calm her down a bit…
#2 She spends most of her time talking with anonymous people
If she happens to talk for hours with @random_12 on Instagram (someone she’s never met) but has nothing to say when you’re around, you’ve got a problem.
The more you lose your intimacy in real life and the more you create false relationships on your messaging systems: your couple becomes vulnerable, because of this distance that the networks create…
#3 Head to head between the two of you are rare and widely spaced out
The more you become dependent on social networks, the more you feel pleasure in going there (the brain will give you endorphins, the happiness hormone, every time you go there).
It corrupts your ability to have authentic relationships with someone in the flesh, which are less rewarding.
PS: that’s exactly why it’s harder to seduce on a first date, when the girls in front of you think more about their phone than about you.
✅ Read Also : 15 QUESTIONS TO ASK ON A FIRST DATE
It is very hard to be as entertaining and as rewarding in terms of dopamine as all the cell phone notifications.
#4 Without her phone, she’s like in withdrawal
If you tried to log out for a day, what happened?
It’s no secret that taking a break from social media can be difficult, but the withdrawal should be seen as an opportunity to work on your intimacy together and not cause more frustration in the relationship.
If you set boundaries and she doesn’t follow them and she’s restless, irritable, like when you take someone’s cigarettes or a drink away, that’s a bad sign.
#5 When she prefers social media to your feelings
Even if you had the courage to tell him that his excessive use of social networks bothers you, it is like talking to a wall.
If she’s not ready to listen to you, there’s a problem that needs to be fixed.
If your girlfriend is addicted to social media and isn’t receptive to how you feel, that’s more than just a red flag, it’s a warning sign.
How can you have a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings?
How to deal with her obsession with social media ?
it’s not about blaming your girlfriend, but start by expressing your emotions.
Begin by saying, “I need to share something with you, and I know you’ll be understanding because you care about me, but it’s still very difficult for me to share.”
Then, speak your mind and get it off your chest.
Next, suggest “changes that can be made” without making her feel like you’re aggressively taking control.
In short, plant a seed without her noticing it, then you’ll have to cultivate the idea. #Inception
She needs to understand your concerns before you even verbalize what’s bothering you, so she won’t be defensive but will be receptive to what you have to say.
It’s essential to communicate effectively using your words. Communication is key.
“First, approach her and let her know that you understand she likes social media, but then express your concerns. If she values your relationship, she will listen,” advises Selim, a personal branding coach.
Although your partner may listen to you, bear in mind that you may not receive the desired response.
When you’re ready to take a stand for yourself and for the relationship, be prepared to accept her answer.
If she says, “No, it’s not good. I’m addicted to Insta, and it’s not going to change,” she’s telling you that her priority lies in seeking validation from strangers who follow her and by the number of likes.
It may be an uncomfortable conversation that could lead to a breakup, but the discomfort is worth it if you want to salvage the relationship.
How to establish social media ground rules in your relationship:
Both of you should spend more time in the real world than on Instagram or social media.
Maybe you met on social media because you were popular on Instagram…
It’s up to you two to establish a “healthy media diet,” meaning healthy social media consumption.
Here are some ideas to help your girlfriend reduce her Instagram use:
#1 Determine how frequently you can check social media when you’re together.
(Hint: NEVER during meals)
#2 Decide what kind of posts are acceptable on social media:
Close-up photos of her breasts? Bikinis galore? Embarrassing photos of you on stories? Pictures of your children on social media?
#3 Determine how many hours a day you both can spend on social media.
(Four hours is already a lot…)
Take time to discuss this need for validation, the desire to show that your online life is as worthy as your friends’. Why does she feel the need to do this?
Make sure you have a clear conversation about what you’re comfortable sharing online and what isn’t.
Set boundaries for your social media posts.
Are you comfortable appearing in his videos? Do his followers really want to see you in bed? When is the sex tape coming out?
If you think it’s going too far, it’s probably turning into an “influencer.” If she tells you she’s going to “buy likes” to make it her job, run away, as she’s mentally unstable, and her brain has been corrupted by the Kardashians.
PS: One last thing… If the last thing she does before going to bed is saying good night to her followers, you’re in deep trouble.
And it’s even worse if her first instinct in the middle of the night is to check her number of likes…
Have you ever known girls addicted to social media?
