You have certainly had a crush, a crush, or a crush on a woman. Or maybe it’s your wife. But, after chatting with this woman, she suddenly stopped responding to you.
She ghosted you. She no longer responds overnight, without any warning signs.
What happened ? Why is she reacting like this?
I will explain it all to you in this article.
1. Why is she distancing herself?
A woman ignoring a man can be for two opposite reasons.
She is still interested but she is testing you:
A testing woman is a woman who is interested in a man but wants to test her level of commitment with him.
She will therefore suddenly ignore him, to see what reaction the man in front of her adopts.
I will explain in more detail in this article how to pass the women’s tests.
She is not or no longer interested:
A woman who is no longer interested will ignore you overnight if she does not know how to talk to you about this turnaround.
To avoid hurting someone, a woman may have to cut off communication rather than come clean.
Relationships between men and women are like two different sports.
That is to say, it is as if we had two playing fields side by side, men and women. And if you, dear reader, want to play on a woman’s court, you’re going to have to learn the rules of this other sport in order to score points.
Imagine it being a tennis court and a basketball court. And we will say that the basketball court is where the men play. And the tennis court, where the women play.
Imagine, you want to go score points on the tennis court, bringing you back with your basketball, and looking for the basket to score a point. You will just throw the ball into the net, without understanding that in fact we play with rackets here, with much smaller balls, and that you have to pass the ball over the net to score points.
This metaphor clearly illustrates what happens in reality, when you don’t understand why a woman can ignore a man, even if she likes him, and even if she is in a relationship with him.
2. How do you know if she is ignoring you on purpose or if there is another reason for it?
A woman who ignores a man overnight isn’t going to do it if she doesn’t have the willpower to do it.
If his mother is in the hospital,
If her best friend just had a car accident
If she is suddenly very busy at work,
She will always find a way to let you know that she will be less available.
If she really has a problem in her life that will take her time but she does not warn you, it is because she has the will not to warn you.
Either because she is no longer interested (only in the case of the start of a relationship). So she wants to break the relationship, or take a break in the relationship. But she doesn’t know how to tell you about it, how to broach the subject.
Or because she is testing your level of commitment to her.
She wants to check that you are willing to put in the effort for her. And that even if she ignores you, you continue to be invested in the relationship, without moving on to the next woman.
3. What should you do if she is intentionally ignoring you and you want her attention back?
I have good news for you.
There are things you can do to get the woman who is ignoring you to come back to you and reconnect with you.
To explain to you what you need to do, I will use another metaphor.
In some forests in the United States, there are bear warning signs. The symbols on the signs mean: “If you see a bear, don’t run”.
Because a bear, in its natural state, when it comes face to face with prey, its instinct will tell it to chase it. And if you come face to face with a bear and you start running to save yourself, you become prey in the eyes of the bear.
It’s the same with women. If she gets a little away from you and you start chasing her, she’s going to run away at full speed.
4. Why should you stop chasing a woman who ignores you?
The more you run after a woman who ignores you, the more she runs away, because then you become the predator chasing her.
It is a natural law of human relations.
The more you cling to a woman, the more that woman will run away.
For example, the more you want a response from a woman, the less you are going to get a response from that woman.
No woman wants to feel a weight on her shoulders. No woman wants to feel indebted to something.
If she feels indebted, she will think:
“Oh, you sent me a message, and you think I should answer you? But I don’t owe you anything. So leave me alone. »
Because you now understand that the first solution that comes to mind, which is to absolutely try to reconnect, is really not the right one.
The best way to get his attention back is to stop chasing him. Stop expecting something from him.
In other words: accept his estrangement!
And for that, you want to create what is called radio silence.
5. How to make a good radio silence?
If she does not contact you within two to three days, you are authorized to send her a short message. No call, no three messages, no trying to see the woman.
No, just as concise a message as possible.
If you can put that in one sentence, great.
For example: “Just to know how you are”.
Above all, do not use a message where you ask him to justify his silence. Please do not write:
“You haven’t heard from me since.”
“I was waiting for you to contact me again”
“You didn’t reply to my last message”
These messages are the worst and least effective to send.
Because once again, through this type of message you send her the information that she owes you something, that she owes you an answer. Which is not the case.
No woman (and no man for that matter) wants to feel trapped in a relationship, feeling like they owe each other.
Through the messages, you can go a step further, and flee yourself.
If you flee, according to the law that I explained to you above, it is likely that she will start wanting to pursue you. And so, that she gets back in touch with you more quickly.
Instead, write messages like:
“It was great meeting you, I wish you all the best. »
“You seem busy, no worries. Maybe next time then. »
“It was great chatting with you, but now doesn’t seem like the right time for you. I wish you a good continuation. »
You don’t want to become the big oaf on duty, the one who’s chasing and chasing after a target. This is not the man you want to become.
6. How do you show a woman that you are a man of value?
So you do a radio silence for a few days, and then you come back to her.
Because you will have to prove to her that you are still there, and that you are still thinking of her, without trying to put a weight on her, nor to make her feel guilty, nor to reproach her for things, nor to criticize her on her way of reacting. .
You just want to send it the following intent:
“I have a super awesome life, and I just thought about you, but I’m going to go on with my super awesome life without you.”
I can assure you that there is an extraordinary difference between men who are not aware of their value, and who are always trying to grab something from women, and those who are aware of their value.
Those men who send the following intention for example:
“Yes, but you didn’t answer… But what we can see… But you told me we could see each other…”.
It has happened to me several times in my life to have men who accept my silences, and who send me messages with an intention of the style:
“Listen, you’re not contacting me again when we were supposed to contact each other again, it doesn’t matter, I’m going on with my life”.
These men really made me want to contact them again.
I wanted to go further with them.
Because the signal they sent me at that time was:
“My life is superb, I don’t need you to be happy. But on the other hand, if you want to join my life so that we can be happy together, that’s OK. But I don’t need you. There is no weight on your shoulders, you do what you want, feel free. »
I can reassure you that men and women want to feel free. And that from the moment you give this freedom to the woman, she will come to you on her own.
7. How do you make sure she doesn’t ignore you in the future?
When she ignores you the first few times, you have to lay the groundwork, lay the framework.
If from the first time you run after him, you send him the signal that you do not know how to manage the situation, that you are not calm and that you feel helpless in the situation.
And the woman will therefore start ignoring you again since you will have failed the test.
The best way is to pass the test.
For this, you must react positively to the test. Don’t run after her, let her distance herself.
And then, after some time, a few days, come back to her without any expectation or pressure. As if nothing had happened and she hadn’t ignored you.
The information you want to convey to her the first time she tests you is as follows:
“You are free of your choices, I am free of my choices. If you can’t even realize that you’re missing out on something by not contacting me again, well, you don’t even deserve my interest. »
Because at that moment, the much deeper message that you transmit to him is that you have value, and that you are aware of it.
Whereas when you chase after him, you send him the opposite message: you need to be loved, because you can’t be loved.
8. What does a woman look for in a man when she ignores him?
No woman wants a man who begs for love.
It’s as if you were going shopping at the market, and a salesman comes to see you saying:
“Buy my tomatoes, sir!” Yes, please buy them. Come on, I’ll even give you a good price. Even better, I give you money to buy my tomatoes. »
If this situation were true, you would think that this seller is suspicious, and certainly that his tomatoes have a problem. That they’re rotten on the inside or that they’re just not good.
In romantic relationships, it’s the same thing.
You don’t want the woman to end up thinking there’s something suspicious or rotten about you.
A woman will always look for a man who has value and who knows his worth.
Act like this from the start and she won’t test you again.
9. How do you handle the feelings of hurt and anger that come with being ignored?
It’s completely normal and healthy to feel angry, frustrated, helpless, or hurt when a woman ignores you.
And all the more so when it comes to a woman you appreciate or love very much.
Like any emotion, the more you repress your feelings, the more they will express themselves. Because everything you repress expresses itself even more.
Let this normal phase pass, which just tells you that you care about the woman. And by letting it pass, the feelings will go away on their own.
A very good way to help you get this phase out of the way faster is to turn your focus on something else. That is to say, to occupy your free time with an activity.
Human beings simply work: the more free time we have, the more time we have to think.
And when our thoughts are stuck on something painful or unpleasant, then we feel those feelings even more intensely.
By occupying this free time with something else, which forces you to focus your attention on something other than your painful feelings, you will naturally and without effort no longer feel anger or pain.
For example, you can start a new sport, resume a sport you have done before, read a series of books you like, learn to play a musical instrument, etc.
It’s your turn
To conclude, when a woman ignores you, do not try to contact her again right away. Allow a few days to pass. Then get back in touch with her without blaming her for her silence, or even trying to get an explanation from her.
Occupy your time with something that really interests you to lessen the feeling of loss, of rupture. It will benefit you when you reconnect with her. Because, without even realizing it, you will put less pressure on him.
And a woman who is not put under pressure will come back to you much more easily and quickly.