Self-esteem is the ability you have to believe in yourself and your qualities and abilities. It is very important to have a good dose of it to face life!
Unfortunately, our self-esteem is undermined during adolescence (hormones, that wound), and it does not go up as easily as your sex at the sight of a pretty girl.
Become aware of the bad habits you have that are destroying your self-esteem in order to get rid of them permanently!
Very interesting subject, self-esteem…
A young but wise boy once said the following: “Nothing and no one in my path can break me, for to fulfill my destiny, I am determined. »
This positive state of mind is the one you must have at all times.
The problem is that you are your main enemy! Yes, parasitic feelings sometimes come and mess things up in our heads: make us doubt, limit us, tell us that we are not capable, that we do not deserve it, that we are going to be judged, that we won’t have the level…
And you are the only person who can get rid of all those ugly thoughts.
Obviously, for that, you have to identify them! So I prepared this list for you.
You will see that with my small examples or subtle observations (it’s sarcastic, be prepared), you will very quickly put things into perspective and get back on track 🙂
So gentlemen, let’s go for a little introspection! And we start strong. I am here for the electric shock, to do you good.
1-Keep the “negative” Instagram app filter of your life
It’s when life sucks anyway and unfair on top of that.
You only focus on the negative things, and above all, you do a little too much.
“Anyway, everyone hates me. »
Including your mom, your best friend, your goldfish, the saleswoman at Starbucks who doesn’t know you from Eve or Adam.
Besides, it is a certainty: the whole world is aware of your existence and has decided that it does not like you.
Get serious: stop the victim attitude!
✅ Read Also : Victim Mentality: Signs, Causes, and What to Do
It’s when you focus on what you could have done better in the past rather than focusing on what you can do better now.
“I could have had a better job if I had done more studies/had the courage to move…”
Spoiler alert: it’s not too late – Marilyn Monroe started as a secretary, Stephen King’s first novel was rejected 30 times…
And you know what they say: “better to have remorse than regret”, in other words, better to start and fail than not to try and not know what could have happened.
Especially since it is from our failures that we learn the most!
Recently I read a sentence that I liked on the subject: “the best time to plant a tree was yesterday. The second best time to plant a tree is today.”
I also invite you to reread this article on self-confidence, which is closely linked to self-esteem…
Don’t get stuck in the past.
3-Believing that you read people’s minds
It is when you know with absolute certainty what others think of you, without even needing any proof.
“She thinks I’m a loser. »
She told you? So there’s a good chance she thinks you’re a loser.
She didn’t tell you? Then there is a good chance that you will make films.
It’s when you refuse to acknowledge your share of responsibility for the situation you find yourself in.
“It’s because of my parents that I have so many problems today” or “It’s my girlfriend’s fault if I feel so bad. »
Spoiler alert: MAYBE you had something to do with it either. If so, take your manhood with both hands (but no, I’m not talking about your sex!!) and restore the situation!
I have a rule that makes a lot of things easier in life: I am responsible for my actions. Not the others.
The opposite this time: it’s when you feel entirely responsible for something negative when others are also to blame.
“It’s my fault my girlfriend cheated on me.”
So maybe, but maybe not too. So we stop beating ourselves up, we break up because we shouldn’t mess around, and we get over it. Courage !!
This advice and the previous advice are not contradictory. You have to find a balance. Yes, if you lose your job, it may be a little your fault.
But when it happens during the crisis and 200 of your colleagues jump with you, you have to be realistic…
A little common sense, damn it!
✅ Read Also : HOW TO HANDLE CRITICISM ? … 8 EFFECTIVE WAYS OF DEALING WITH IT
You focus on those who are better than you and do better than you in one area, without even considering that they are less good in another area where you manage wonderfully!
“Everyone got a better mark than me on the Evaluation of analytical methods applied to the physical bases of underground exploration methods…”
Yeah caving is not your thing. But maybe you are an expert in… evaluating analytical methods applied to… bears?
In short, you are necessarily better than someone at something. Never forget it. And stop comparing yourself to others!
Live your life !
Do you know the Post-it game? This game where you write a name on a Post-it and stick it on the forehead of one of your friends to make him guess who he is by only answering his questions with yes or no.
Here it is the same, but with an adjective. You assign people (and yourself) a (negative) label. And impossible to take it off, or at least to recognize him (you) qualities.
“I’m not attractive” or “This guy is an asshole”.
Aren’t you attractive? For what ? Is it a lifestyle or look problem? Is it an attitude problem? It is not irreversible.
So put the label “I’m not attractive – but I’m healing” on your forehead and you’ll see that you’ll feel better just by deciding to change.
As for this guy, he might be an asshole to you, but he might be a good guy to another. Think about why you gave him that label: what did he do to you?
And you, what did you do to him, just before? If there is a link, question yourself 🙂
And stop blaming bad boys who seduce girls…
8-Minimize good things
It’s when you take someone’s behavior for granted, or a win was so predictable it doesn’t matter.
“It’s what a girlfriend should do anyway, so it doesn’t count” or “It was too easy, so it doesn’t count”.
Spoiler alert: your girlfriend owes you nothing. At all. And every win is a win, otherwise it wouldn’t be called that!
I’m not going to hide from you that this is a problem that I still often suffer from: I was happy about the publication of the book “Leçons de séduction” for one evening, before saying to myself “Good, the next one I have want to write, what is it again? “.
Don’t minimize the good things, learn to savor the moment!
9-Generalizing the wrong things
It’s when you make a single bad experience an unchanging reality, destined to happen again.
“It always happens like that with me. I fail all the time. With the girls. During my job interviews.
Well surprisingly, no. Here, you probably managed to get up this morning. Make breakfast without burning your toast/dropping your cereal packet.
You managed to catch the bus or find the way to the metro. One day you learned to read and now you read our articles (and we thank you!).
Without knowing your level of studies, I can say that you most certainly succeeded in being accepted in 6th grade – even if you repeated your CM2. So what ? You finally made it.
Still convinced that you fail all the time?
Remember that you are the sperm that won the race. It was the first win.
10-You play Madame Soleil
It’s when you ask yourself a ton of questions about how such and such a thing can happen (and inevitably, you are never satisfied with the answers you give yourself).
“But what if I get nervous talking to him? »
“But what will happen if I try to kiss her too quickly? »
“But what will happen if I text too quickly? »
Translation ? Until you try, you can’t know if you’ll succeed or not (the remorse/regret speech earlier, does that ring a bell?
Same as when you were told “Taste before saying you don’t like it!” ” when you were little.
So these are the main parasitic thoughts and practices that you can have. But you can get rid of it!
I hope you realized that when I pushed you around a bit (oh, not the first time…). One of the things that will help you the most is to put things into perspective.
Yes, maybe you had a bad day where a lot of things happened that lowered your self-esteem (rake, remark at work…)
But it’s just one bad day among many good ones!
The problem is that you will devote more mental time and energy to it precisely because it was bad… and it is not the right thing to do.
So guys, we find a positive state of mind by sweeping away all these negative things! Send me your self-esteem skyrocketing!