When men go through a tedious breakup, they may seem happy and distracted, but it’s really far from reality that hits them. As much as a man would deny it, he is a social and dependable creature, who craves company and when he is all alone he will put on a costume and mask his emotions to have a frivolous pleasure in letting things go. But there’s a lot more to it, when men go through a bad breakup. There are stages to overcome the memory of it and that’s how they eventually come to terms with it and let go.
Sometimes relationships fall apart and it feels unbearable. It feels like your present and your future have both taken a hike and there is literally nothing left to look forward to. Sometimes you have to try really hard to make something work and sometimes you absolutely give up and take a back seat. Either way, there’s no point in dragging a relationship to its eventual demise when you can either end it there and then fix it slowly and in most cases in today’s generation. Today, relationships end hard, every split second for the smallest or the greatest of things. The stages men go through during a breakup are like a learning curve and they come out of it, but rather slowly. But I think it is imperative to succeed in this learning in order to let go of the things that hold us back.
So to navigate a little easier through a breakup, there are 7 stages that men go through after the breakup to recover and it’s okay to acknowledge everything you’re going through in order to fully understand it.
Step 1 – The ego comes alive
Men have huge egos and they get suppressed most of the time when in the relationship, especially if their partner is dominating. It’s their way of making sure the ego doesn’t get bigger than the relationship, but once the relationship is over, the ego masks the entirety of it and for most people men going through a breakup may look absolutely good and love every ounce of life, but they’re usually really broken on the inside. So, the ego stage is crucial and important and it helps a man get into his shell, subtly to overcome the breakup.
According to research conducted by the Journal of Experimental Psychology on general breakups, you shouldn’t fight their feelings at all. While it’s okay to mask your emotions when you’re going through a tough time, you still need to acknowledge them to yourself, in order to come out of any hurt you’re trying to deal with.
Step 2 – Man becomes a social animal
Unlike women, men do not internalize the trauma at first. They let it creep in and shrug it off, or sweep it under the rug and try to live as if nothing had happened. Which can be quite discouraging for the woman they were in a relationship with. It’s not like they’re done or they’ve forgotten everything, they’re just trying to bring their ego back and socialize as much as they can, to forget their pain.
They also make up for the lack of interaction in their lives. Previously, text messages, calls, etc. constants were the hallmark of their day, but now, since the breakup, they’ve been trying to fill that void by distracting themselves by talking to other women through text messages and phone calls. It’s not like they’ll find someone and fall in love. It’s almost impossible for a man who just got out of a relationship. It’s just about fulfilling a habit, which takes time to completely disappear.
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Step 3: Realization comes slowly
According to research conducted by the University of Texas, the fundamental understanding of a breakup comes from the fact that you are truly alone and once the realization dawns on a man going through a breakup, he begins to do things that completely change and change his mindset. He starts looking for happiness again. But for this to happen, it is important to realize that he is emotionally weak and alone at the time.
Men will do anything to honor their ego. They will put on a poker face and meet their friends, they will flirt and have fun with other women, they will fly away and they will drown in work. But with all this, they will sometimes realize that they are going too fast and have not given themselves time to heal. That’s when the real healing will begin – when they realize they need it.
Step 4 – Anger and Sadness
Now that Stage 3 is complete and some degree of realization has occurred, everything has been in question ever since. From the reason to the breakup to what led up to it, everything is seriously questioned and it can lead to a lot of anger and sadness at the same time, because you are faced with something that you have probably brushed aside. carpet for a long time. too long! So there’s nothing wrong with expressing your feelings if no one else and realizing what you’ve been through, through your anger and sadness. It is in fact you who accept the breakup.
Step 5 – Initial Acceptance
It’s an acceptance that it’s finally over and you have nothing more to gain from the other person. You may have tried to contact her, you may have met her or even slept with her, but the fact that it is over is something that comes to you much later, in the later stages. Earlier, you are busy masking your emotions and having fun forgetting things. This may even be the stage where you might want to go back with her to get things working again. Because you realized certain things, trying to internalize the problem. But if it doesn’t work, you finally start to accept that it’s actually, finally over.
Step 6 – Gain Trust and Redirect Hope
This step helps you gain all the lost trust you have placed in yourself and another person. It helps you re-analyze your wants and needs once again and try to find your way through the playing field again. Hope is a certainty that you can get over your ex and that you will take each step forward to break away from the previous tie and move on to something more suitable for you. This is a big step and it takes some time to gain that confidence to start all over again. So it’s important to have tons of patience during this time.
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Step 7 – Ready to take the leap, again
This stage can come months or even years after the first stage. This is the stage of final completion and it helps you know that you are ready to move on to another person. Some men want to be with another woman, some men are content with being alone unless they really find what they are looking for. Either way, this step clears all inhibitions and everything that has been keeping you from getting over the breakup, entirely. Sometimes this step also allows them to realize that what they had before made sense and that it is okay to give it a shot. But that only happens with immense clarity and letting go of everything from the past.
The 7 steps are important to understand only because they are deeply rooted and psycho-analyzed to understand one’s pattern of behavior, while going through trauma. Of course, it doesn’t last forever, but it’s important to remember that everyone comes out of this alive and unscarred if you religiously go through these 7 steps and consciously help yourself to come out of grief.