19 Ways to Become a Better Man Starting Today

Whether you like it or not, it takes more than a pair of cojones to be a man. Many cultures around the world have rites of passage to symbolize this change, as well as customs to ensure this status. This article will describe the journey from childhood to adulthood, rather than the major differences between men and women. Although there is no one way to characterize a man, there are certain characteristics that many people around the world attribute to men.

Whether you like it or not, it takes more than a pair of cojones to be a man. Many cultures around the world have rites of passage to symbolize this change, as well as customs to ensure this status. This article will describe the journey from childhood to adulthood, rather than the major differences between men and women. Although there is no one way to characterize a man, there are certain characteristics that many people around the world attribute to men.

First thing, have the right mindset

1.  Know who you are. 

Find out who you are and be happy with the person you are. There is no one way to be a man. A real man can be a lumberjack who wears plaid and hasn’t showered in a week. A real man can be a professor who talks about Ronsard and Lamartine. However, all men know who they are and respect themselves.

2. Be an expert in one area. 

It doesn’t really matter what field you choose, but you should consider being knowledgeable in a certain area. Not all men are able to use educated words, but when it comes to accomplishing something, they know how to do it. They use their intelligence to do what needs to be done. What is one area where you know your stuff? Here are some areas you might consider digging into.

  • General knowledge. You know everything about everything. You could win a lot of money on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire if you wanted to be on television. You know the difference between a coordinating conjunction and a subordinating conjunction, between pterodactyls and pterorhynchus, between a 99 euro suit and a 6,000 euro jacket.
  • The cars. Men crowd around cars for the same reason they crowd around women: they are beautiful, intriguing and complex. So it’s no wonder that men talk about cars the way they talk about women. You may be the kind of man whose friends bring their cars in when the clutch needs changing or the oil needs changing.
  • The story. Increasingly rare, men who have studied history have the advantage of having a broader perspective on issues. They can talk about Roman military strategy, Cold War negotiating tactics, and obscure international politics, among other things. They know that knowing history is not just about not repeating the mistakes of the past.
  • Women. Some make the opposite sex a subject of study. If you want to know about women, be prepared to make mistakes and learn from them. There is nothing worse than a man who thinks he is the best thing that ever happened to a woman while being stubbornly insulting, arrogant and ignorant.

3.  Know when you’ve made a mistake and learn to apologize. 

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Only insecure men think that mistakes are a bad thing, because they are not comfortable in their own skin. Confident men know when they make mistakes and are not afraid to admit it.

Learn to apologize in different ways. Men know that apologies may not be verbal. A ticket to a soccer game, breakfast in bed, or a weekend away with your partner can also be ways to apologize without having to rattle the vocal cords. Men know that these are often effective ways to communicate regret instead of using three measly words.

4. Be aware of the Men’s Code of Conduct. 

What is the male code of conduct? It’s a set of loose rules that dictate the behavior of men who often evolve without really changing. When possible, take the men’s code of conduct seriously. It shows other men that you respect them as much as you respect yourself. Here are some of the rules in the code.

  • Dating prohibitions. You will never date a friend’s sister unless you want to marry her. You should never date a friend’s ex unless you have his or her explicit permission. Explicit permission means you have to ask.
  • Share what you have when possible. If a friend asks you for a pair of safety shoes, a drill or a casserole dish 24 hours in advance, you should be nice enough to lend it to them. This doesn’t necessarily apply to cars, lucky charms and women.
  • Birthday gifts for other men are always optional. If you are asked for more details, you can always lie and tell that your other half ordered you to do something.
  • Never engage in conversation with another man while urinating. It is never acceptable to choose a urinal right next to one that another man is already using if there are other urinals available.
  • Smileys and emoticons are not necessary when texting another man. While it is acceptable (but not preferable) to use them when messaging a woman, use the bare minimum.

5. Abandon any self-destructive thoughts or habits. 

Understand that all men in all cultures have, to some extent, socialized in ways that are psychologically and culturally harmful and can make them unhappy. The first step in becoming a man is to examine the environment in which you grew up, as objectively as possible.

  • Did you grow up in a culture where it is acceptable to abuse people (either physically or verbally) who behave in an eccentric or unruly manner? Violence is more often the result of cowardice than a sincere impulse to solve a problem. It is unhealthy and harmful to use violence or threats against your friends or family members to show your authority.
  • Have you learned that being strong means stifling your emotions, holding back tears and never showing vulnerability? The downside here is that you have also learned to internalize and stifle emotions that can then swell and get worse. Focus on another way to be strong: being a dependable and reliable person who knows how to handle adversity.
  • Have you learned to hate and distrust homosexuals? Understand that there is only one thing that makes you gay: a love and sexual preference for people of the same gender. The kind of music you like, the clothes you wear, whether you cry during movies or not, whether you buy your wife flowers, whether you are sensitive and kind to others, none of this makes you gay. An outward display of homophobia only proves a man’s insecurity, not his courage.

Second thing: Take care of your body

1. Wash yourself, even if you live in the woods. 

A man knows that washing his body is necessary, even animals do it, but don’t think that taking care of yourself is part of a modern social fashion. Body care has become a business and many companies never tire of trying to convince you that you need a lot of unnecessary products. Skincare companies are only set up to make money, not for any noble, moral or public interest cause.

  • There is no need to shave every day, especially if you are growing a beard. Some men can’t grow a full beard, so it’s best to shave. Other men have very good beard growth, it is a sign of mother nature to grow a beard. Men tend to be afraid of what women think about beards, but the truth is that men are not the slaves of women. No woman should decide whether a man has a beard or not. Be yourself, as you were created, be your own master.
  • As a general rule, do not shave your body or chest hair. You don’t have to live up to an aberrant and superficial image of the smooth and chiseled (i.e. plastic) man created by the modern fashion, advertising and movie industry, once again to make money. Be proud of what makes you a man and the physical attributes of your masculinity that nature has given you.
  • Take showers and baths when necessary. A man should shower when he is dirty or smells, not necessarily every day like women do. A man chooses to stay dirty and smelly for a good reason, such as working on his car or getting ready to play sports.
  • Trim your hair and nails regularly. Most men don’t like messy hair, but some prefer hair that’s a little longer or styled.

2.  Exercise. 

Being a man doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of your fitness. It does mean that you should take care of your body (for some men, that means lifting weights). Get used to the responsibility of being a man by staying physically fit: do cardio, yoga or pilates (it’s not just for women), strength training or sports in general, combined with a healthy diet. At the very least, you should walk for 30 minutes to burn fat and build muscle.

3. Wear clothes that fit you well. 

You don’t have to buy designer clothes or clothes that cost you an arm and a leg. However, you do need to make sure that they fit you well. Not all men are muscular and strong, and that’s why baggy clothes don’t work for everyone. Even though tight pants are in fashion nowadays, try to stay away from clothes that are too feminine. All men need the following things.

  • Two or three pairs of good jeans. Keep a pair of casual jeans, a pair of work jeans and a pair of dressy jeans in your closet. Tailor the basics of your clothing around these pants.
  • A few button-down shirts. Again, casual shirts, work shirts, and more formal shirts should suffice for the average man.
  • A few pairs of shoes. Men should have between three and five different pairs of shoes: dress shoes (for work and special occasions), tennis shoes, safety shoes, more casual shoes (sneakers, loafers, dress shoes) and slightly less than formal shoes (e.g. leather shoes). Mix styles according to your needs and the clothes you wear.

4. Don’t use drugs to make yourself feel better. 

Men are born adventurous, which makes the lure of drugs more real. Men who feel good about themselves tend not to use drugs to feel good. Even when the end of the month is difficult, when the workload gets bigger and personal problems arise (not to mention soccer), men find a way to enjoy the beauty of life without having to numb themselves.

Third thing: Develop your mind

1. Develop your own principles. 

A man is not always comfortable being judge, jury and executioner, but he knows the difference between what is right and wrong and expects others to follow the same rules. Look inside yourself and ask yourself: would I want someone to do the same to me? This should help you develop rules that you can apply in your life.

  • A man never takes, regardless of whether he is frantic. A desperate man learns to ask for help instead of helping himself by doing something he has no right to do.
  • A man helps people in need. He knows when someone is in a bad way and needs help, even if it’s the gesture that counts.
  • A man trusts his friends, partner and family members. He knows how to stay faithful to his commitments and he anticipates that others should do likewise.
  • A man never lies, either to himself or to others. He develops a conscience that gives him good judgment of himself and allows him to be more comfortable with the truth, even when it hurts.

2. Be ambitious in your own way. 

Men are naturally ambitious. We all want to be winners and we have respect and admiration for our peers. However, not all men choose the same career path, so ambition is not always the same thing. Whatever career or profession you choose (you may even have several), set a goal for yourself, live for that goal and surpass it and reinvent yourself whenever you have to. Define your own idea of success.

3. Seek responsibility and take responsibility for what you do. 

The main difference between a man and a boy or between an adult and a child is that men are responsible. Men honor their commitments, accept their duties and are responsible for their actions. Men tidy up after themselves (metaphorically and in a real sense).

Men know that anyone can have a child, but only a man understands and accepts the responsibility of being a good father.

Men refuse to ask others to do anything they would not want to do themselves. Therefore, they appreciate the difficulty and risk that others take on his behalf.

4. Learn to make sacrifices for the people you love and care about. 

It takes sacrifice to become an adult, whether you want to or not. The difference between a man and a boy is that the man accepts the challenge while the boy hesitates and complains. Especially for the people he loves, a man is willing to make sacrifices, whether it means giving time, money or other resources to people other than himself, because it is his duty.

5.  Be a good man. 

Integrity means doing the right thing, for the right reason, even when no one is watching. It may be tempting to think that by fulfilling your self-defined responsibilities to be a man, you’ve done your job, but that doesn’t always make you a good person. Never stop doing the right thing and re-evaluate your character and integrity. If you want to be a man, be a good man or it would be better if you stayed a boy.

Fourth thing: Knowing how to love

1. Use your inner gentleman. 

Your inner gentleman is telling you to do things you need to do, you know you do, but sometimes you’re too lazy to do them.

  • Pay your debts, unless the woman you owe money to sees this act as a barbaric throwback to a more misogynistic time.
  • Open the door, pull out the chair and say please and thank you. As a general rule, anticipate the expectations of the woman you are with as a sign of respect.
  • Do the chores. Some men who are already in a long-term relationship avoid their household duties. They forget to take out the trash, wash the dishes or change the baby’s diapers. Real men know they have to share household chores with their partners, even if they don’t like doing them.
  • Know how to lose gracefully. Men have a competitive nature, which makes it hard for some to lose. Accept defeat with the same grace as victory, even if it’s easier said than done.

2.  Don’t brag. 

Men like to chase romance, but they often let themselves brag about their conquests. Don’t think that if you don’t tell anyone, it didn’t happen. Success in love speaks for itself. A discreet confidence to one of your friends might even suggest that you are a real Casanova, even if you are not.

3. Always treat your partner with respect. 

Here’s a simple list of dos and don’ts.

  • Do’s and Don’ts
  • Listen to what she has to say.
  • Forgive her when she makes a small mistake.
  • Do what you promised to do.
  • Treat her the way you would want to be treated.
  • Things not to do
  • Hold on to unrealistic expectations.
  • Manipulate her to get what you want.
  • Treat her like an object rather than a person.
  • Assume you know how she feels or how she will react

4. Don’t rush into the relationship. 

Many men rush women and push them into awkward situations. By doing this, they not only alienate the woman, but also prevent themselves from getting what they want. Men know that when it comes to relationships, the woman sets the pace. If she wants to rush into a whirlwind romance, he’s usually on board. If she wants to take it slow, he’ll reassure her that he wants to stay with her for the long haul. By letting her regulate the speed at which the relationship evolves, a man allows the relationship to come to fruition and usually ends with a more interesting bargain.

5. Keep a little mystery. 

Men are irresistible to women precisely because they are a mystery. Being mysterious doesn’t mean you’re the strong, silent type. It just means you’re saving some for later, to surprise her with a skill, feature or gesture she doesn’t expect.


Surround yourself with good role models, even if they are younger than you. Who do you think is a good male role model in your life? How do they behave? What do they do? Learn from them, but also remember that no one is perfect, they are still learning, just like you.

Being a man and being a woman mean the same thing, when it comes to being a human being, that is, being kind, respectful and sincere to yourself. It is not defined by anything else, such as your clothes, your passions or your sexual preferences.

You might not want to get married, that’s your choice, marriage is not a requirement for being a man.

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